Amateur Sinner

Elo’hi

 

My Source of Power,

the breath that you have given into me

She is pure.

 

You created her,

You formed her,

You blew her into me

And You watch over her within my being

And You will one day take her from me

and restore her within me

in the time to come;

every moment

that the breath is within me,

I acknowledge my gratitude before You,

my Source of Power

and the Power of my ancestors,

Master of all Creations,

Keeper of all Souls.

 

Source of Blessings are You, Yah,

Who restores breath

to the lifeless.

 

-Babylonian Talmud, B’rachot 60b

They're advertising to you and it works! What do you think that says about you? It's this kind of have it your way attitude that's fucking the world up. It's why so many foreign countries have reason to hate you. You empty vapid shell of a society. Welcome to Rome, now where is Nero?

Metal Education - Part III:
Cradle of Filth
“Cruelty and the Beast (Special Edition)”

DISCLAIMER: I know what I’m getting into and what I’m looking for but it’s probably time that I told you. Some of the material that I will be reviewing is much darker and far more morbid than what most of society is comfortable dealing with. Music is a departure from visual art forms in that if the art piece “Pisschrist” offends you, you can close your eyes but even if the “Pisschrist” is shoved in your face you may never actually get to what the artist was trying to communicate to you. Visual art is far more objective. If these Metal bands want to communicate some sort of negativity to the observer, they are going to spell it out for you and you are most likely going to get it. If you don’t want to be offended don’t follow me here.

( Metal Education - Part III: Cradle of Filth ‘Cruelty and the Beast (Special Edition)’  )

DISCLAIMER: I know what I’m getting into and what I’m looking for but it’s probably time that I told you. Some of the material that I will be reviewing is much darker and far more morbid than what most of society is comfortable dealing with. Music is a departure from visual art forms in that if the art piece “Pisschrist” offends you, you can close your eyes but even if the “Pisschrist” is shoved in your face you may never actually get to what the artist was trying to communicate to you. Visual art is far more objective. If these Metal bands want to communicate some sort of negativity to the observer, they are going to spell it out for you and you are most likely going to get it. If you don’t want to be offended don’t follow me here.

( Metal Education - Part II: Slipknot ‘Iowa’  )

I got pretty much the same answer as my wife I think.


My Personality

Neuroticism	95
Extraversion	39
Openness to Experience	73
Agreeableness	31
Conscientiousness	97

You are poised, confident, and clear-thinking when stressed, however you feel strong cravings and urges that you have difficulty resisting. You tend to prefer short-term pleasures and rewards over long-term consequences. You tend to feel overwhelmed by, and therefore actively avoid, large crowds. You often need privacy and time for yourself. You prefer familiar routines and for things to stay the same. You can tend to feel uncomfortable with change. You find helping other people genuinely rewarding and are generally willing to assist those who are in need. You find that doing things for others is a form of self-fulfillment rather than self-sacrifice, however you generally see others as selfish, devious, and sometimes potentially dangerous. You are well-organized and like to live according to routines and schedules. Often you will keep lists and make plans.

Take a Personality Test now or view the full Personality Report. The best Buying Pet Gifts.

I've officially been kicked into high gear. I have less than six months to plan, organize and execute operation "Marry the Fiance," and although I am definately on top of things it is still an intimidating thing at times. We spent three hours in Bed Bath and Beyond doing what I thought was a "modest" registry. The powerpoint presentation that I'm using to organize everything is exploding with information that is constantly changing and expanding. I am also busting my mental butt to keep up with and actually comprehend all of my classes this semester. I fell almost fell asleep for thee third time in my economcs class this morning. I had enough sleep and coffee but the class is so boring to me that I find it soothing in it's repetition of the same theories and data that I've "learned" in my previous two economics class. These things seem to be common sense to me. I don't understand why I've had to take three classes on the same principles...

Things with April are great. She is my recreation and my inspiration. I think I am losing weight thanks to me diet, but I wont know for sure until March.

I've been feeling very distant from myself lately. I sat down for about ten minutes today and did absolutely nothing. I didn't surf the internet. I wasn't playing games or studying. I wasnt planning anything. I wasn't talking on the phone. I did nothing. I've been feeling agitated sence this weekend. I didn't know why until today. I miss myself and who I used to identify myself as. I've gained weight and I haven't studied anything for fun or kept up with any of my hobbies at all. I think it started to bother me when I realized that I took a week off from work and studying from school and had no time for myself. I don't regret what I did with my holiday, that's not at all what I'm trying to say. What I am saying is that I haven't had time to really relax with my fiance even. When we do take a break and do something together I feel like it has been exactly that... a break. I havent' really let go and relaxed. Even my down time is like a short scheduled burst of time that includes a lack of productivity not real relaxation.

I miss the shit out of my friends. When I came back to my city, the first time it really felt like home was when I was sitting in a coffee shop playing cards with a bunch of new fiends. I only really knew those guys for a very short period of time in my life, but that was a very special time to me to be back at home relaxing with those great guys. I haven't been there in so long and I know that those times will most likely never come again, at least not like they were. I miss sitting in a coffee shop for hours studying and drawing in my ipod isolation zone.

If it weren't for the companionship I have with April and the constant support that she gives I'd probably be in a really bad place right now. There's just too much going on right now...

At least I'm done with classes. I have an exam on Saturday and then I'll start working on all the other things I have to get done before class starts again...